JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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