i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You ruined the universe
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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