Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I checked into jail on foursquare
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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