Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize