So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
