If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
