I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
