you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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