I want to have your abortion
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
