Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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