i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
