So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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