I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
