sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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