all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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