I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
