Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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