ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
