Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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