I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
