come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
