Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize