He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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