Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
