we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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