Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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