Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
