the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
