I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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