One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
