Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
