Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
