what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
