Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
