If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
