your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
