i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
