I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
