Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize