It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
