i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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