Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
