I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I smell like Dick and happiness
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
