My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
