Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
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