Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
