I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
