He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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