are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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