all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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