yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
