Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
