Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
