yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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