i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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