Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
