Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
