I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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