I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
