I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Bring me that man meat
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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