Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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