I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
