Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
