found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
