i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize