Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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