we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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