Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
